Flash forward to present: I am skipping a portion of this tale to tell you how I'm feeling on this very day, right now, in this very moment. I'm scared. It's hard for me to admit this feeling because, well, I try not to get scared by much more than horror movies. Either way, I'm terrified.
At least I can say that I got over one of my biggest fears. When I joined Derby, the reality of serious injury was forced into the forefront of my thinking. I hurt my own knee. I saw several other girls go down, and I saw a few bones break. I was terrified that I'd break my own leg, and that's why I became a Zebra.
Now I've broken my leg. The fear of any broken bones has now gone out the window. I have spent the last nine days, elevated, icing, and dreading today. At 1:20 p.m., I will have a plate placed in my right leg to aid in the healing process. Not only will it heal the bone, but it will also help my long term health as a walking human being. Hopefully, it will take away the pain, this week has been less than comfortable.
I'm not just scared of the surgery, I'm scared of the bills... will I be able to afford full recovery? I've been uninsured for the last few months because I took on a new job, and I haven't been able to find health insurance that would meet my personal needs that had affordable monthly payments. I'm paying for all of this out of my own pocket. I can't help but think "There goes all the work I put into paying things off, and some of the goals I had for my immediate future because I had to hurt myself skating..."
That feeling is crushing enough.
So here I sit, at 9 o'clock in the morning, watching the minutes drag by, waiting to leaving to go to surgery. I'm hoping today will change my life for the better. I wish my surgery was now so I could get it done and over with so that I could eat. I'm hungry, and the no-eating before surgery thing totally sucks.
I'll regale you with the tale of how my ankle broke later. It's not that exciting. There was no great hit by a vengeful derby girl which led to my annihilation... no, nothing like that.
If your reading this, then please send a healing prayer my way. Don't worry, I'll be back to give you an update in a few days.